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Name ~ Instrument:
Dan ~ Vocals & Guitar
Ant ~ Drums
Matt ~ Guitar, thong & Backing vocals
Dave ~ Bass
Background?
Dave: You wanna know our background?
Me: on M-P-A
Ant: It's a big one and will take ages to write down
Matt: us three used to play, not them
Ant: no no no, before that!
Matt: no!
Ant: no, fuck it!
Dave: It started off like, they used to be in a band called bed time Jeremy
Me: right
Dave: Their singer left and then they wanted to start a new band
Ant: no, we kicked him
Dave: alright, they kicked him out
Ant: he was in Martin, he left, then joined us
Matt: And we became Morgan's Puff Adder
Ant: haha, that didn't make any sense!
Matt: do you wanna hear that again?
Me: I think I've got it. There were you three in Bed Time Jeremy, you had a singer, but decided to kick him out. Started a new band. You (Dan) were in MARTiN and then joined Bed Time Jeremy's new band named Morgan's Puff Adder.
Matt: Do you think you've got enough tape?
Me: I hope so
Ant: we're just gonna fuck around the whole time.
Matt: I just spat water in your backy
Ant: you bastard, my backy is not meant to be moist!
Dan: woah woah woah, we gotta get back to Sittingbourne tonight!
Ant: no we don't!
Matt: That's a fantastic tank-top you've got there mate!
Pietasters Guy: What this? I got this for like 2 dollars somewhere in Texas.
Ant: 2 dollars?!? You know thats like one pound twenty five!!
Pietasters Guy: I got this for one pound twenty five in Texas
Ant: You got ripped!
=laughter=
Why did you start a band?
Matt: cos we like playing music
Me: what type of music?
Matt: ska/punk
Me: why?
Matt: because it's happy and fun
Dan: and we like moving
Matt: and seeing girls Breasticles.'
Ant: I like AFX twin..
Me: you what?
Ant: AFX twin
Dave: Left over crack rule man!
Ant: and queens of the stoneage rule!
Matt: Fuck off, they're shit
Ant: No, Queens of the stoneage are actually really good
Dan: I like snuff
Matt: Don't like snuff
Dave: Left over crack and the voo doo glow skulls
Dan: Snuff
Ant: I like the Distillers, The Distillers are the best fucking punk band.
Dan: snuff
Matt: I like sublime
Dan: Snuff
Ant: yeh, we all like sublime
Dan: Next question, Next question, Next question
Ant: Fuck off dan. Let's take time and think about our answers
Matt: you're not gonna get anywhere without us driving
Ant: yeah, you can just fuck off to the car
What are you planning on doing with yourselves?
Matt: I was planning on Masturbating
Ant: I was gonna say that!
=laughter=
Me: I think I meant band-wise
Matt: Play as many gigs as possible
Dan: Sell as many cd's and T-shirts as possible
Ant: Play a gig every night of the week
Matt: Have a go on lots of girls breasts.. end up like the spice girls.
Dan: Yeh, I'd be a spice girl for a million quid! Would you?
Me: Yeah
Ant: we all really like ska, we all really like punk. And I like weird stuff - which they don't like
Matt: he likes punk really
Ant: I like weezer - they hate weezer
Me: How about Nerf Herder?
Ant: Nerf Never-heard-of-them. har har. No, they played that fucking buffy the vampire theme-tune didn't they?
Me: yes!
Ant: I've never seen Buffy in my life, and I still knew that.
If I was planning on stalking you... where should I look?
Ant: Now that's what I'm scared of.. cos like, If I blank a blank and get her blanked then she knows where I am the whole time
Matt: Look about on the internet and you'll find us.
Ant: Don't write what I just said, My girlfriend will get in a stress
Matt: write it, write it!
Me: I'm afraid whatevers on the tape gets written down, so you should have thought about that earlier.
Dave: I'm not smoking a joint!
=Laughter=
Ant: I'm not touching myself!
Dave: Touch me now!!!
Matt: ahh man, you got enough space in your cunt?
=laughter=
Ant: no no no, let's talk more about this question.. what was it?
Dave: stalking
Ant: oh yeah! Stalking
Dan: I live at twenty seven blank blank come round anytime baby
=laughter=
Ant: 75 blank - there's always a spare bed
=laughter=
Dan: remember!
Me: will do
=laughter=
Ant: haha, she's gonna write that now and you'll get a load of weirdo's coming round your house.
Dan: so long as they've got bums and tits I don't mind
Matt: what if they're blokes?
Dan: That's alright - if they've had operations I don't give a shit
Ant: ahhhhhh! I was watching Trisha today, there were these two blokes, and one of them used to be called steve and now he's called Lisa!
=laughter=
What's the scene in sittingbourne like?
Dan: shit
Matt: It's shit
Ant: shit
Dave: shit
Matt: they're attempting to improve it
Ant: got some good bands. Martin are good, six stage suicide...
Dave: But the drummer's an ass hole
Ant: no, they're alright!
Dave: Don't write that.
Ant: who else?
Matt: there's nothing where we are..
Ant: that's why you'll hardly ever find us playing in sittingbourne. Shittingbourne innit?
Dan: Shittingbourne!!
What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done on stage?
=laughter=
Ant: Matt stacking it in Gravesend
Matt: Dave tried to get me naked once.. and also, I played here (Tunbridge Wells) in a thong.
Ant: Matt saw this pretty girl.. well she was pretty rough
Matt: nah, she wasn't
Dan: She was a fucking pig!
Matt: I dunno
Dan: Come on, it was Gravesend! There are no decent girls in gravesend!
Ant: yeh, Anyway, he tried following her into the girls toilets and he tripped over his guitar case and cut his arm right up. That was quite funny.
When I was in an old band, I was about 15 and we were at.. actually I think this was Gravesend again & the crowd was totally dead.. do you remmber this? (directed at Dave)
Dave: =laughs a lot=
Ant: and I thought "right, I'm gonna try and get them moving." so I got up off my drum kit, stood by the mic, and went...(waves hands about) "Who Likes Punk Rock!!!" .... silence ... "WHO LIKES PUNK ROCK!!!"
Matt: Who looks like a wanker!!!
=laughter=
Ant: So I just went back round to my kit and continued playing. That was embarrassing.
Dave: How about me?
Matt: You took your shirt off once.
=laughter=
Dave: yeah, I suppose
Matt: and I shouted "nipples!!"
Dan: I haven't done anything embarrassing
Ant: Except when you went "This is the biggest bunch of hi-didly.. doe haddely.. daddels.."
=laughter=
Matt: and.. "WHO'S BOUGHT OUR CD?" .. silence..
Ant: There ya go! 4 embarrassing moments. You've got matt stacking it at Gravesend and wearing a thong. You've got Dave without a shirt on. You got me just saying... shit.
Dan: and me not being able to talk. But there were like 600 people there.
Ant: yeah, there were like 650 people in this venue and Dan just made a complete fool of himself infront of them all - we've got it on camera!
And The Scariest thing?
Matt: Dave without a shirt on!
=laughter=
Dan: Matt in a thong and watching his ass twitch
=laughter=
Ant: I had to sit behind him when I was playing the drums!
Matt: Apparently I had two spots on my ass
Ant: Yeah, he had this zit here, and a zit there (one on each cheek)
=laughter=
Dan: We should have got a pen and drawn a smile on it, turned it into a smiley face
=laughter=
Ant: Just matt in general
Matt: Me and Dave with no clothes on
Pie Taster Guy # 2: Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck FUCK!
Matt: Quote that!
Ant and Dan: Quote that
Matt: (takes dictaphone) Can you repeat that again?
Pie Taster Guy # 2: Yeah, I think it went. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck and then I said fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck and then I got really mad and said FUCK FUCK FUCK fuck fuck fuck...
Matt: Cheers mate
=laughter=
Pie Taster Guy # 2: One common language.. Fuck, works in all countries.
Dan: Come on then, you got any exciting questions?
Me: Actually, no I haven't. These are all really crap because I only did them like, 10 Minutes before I came here.
Dan: That's alright
Ant: How far we got?
Me: About half way
Ant: Cool. I like doing interviews
Me: You do?
Ant: (takes Dictaphone) I like doing interviews, I do!
Dan: (does the same) And me
=laughter=
Ant: (into dictaphone again) I'm the drummer, and everything
Matt: and you like doing random women
Ant: And I like... no!
=laughter=
Ant: so not true
Matt: The bloke sitting over there ("Man with many holes" - or something) told my dad that he was going to shread my ass hole when I slept round his house tonight. that was quite embarrassing.
=laughter=
Ant: Can I come round?
Matt: I turned round and my dad was pissing himself with laughter, and I said - I sure hope you told him to be gentle.
=laughter=
Dan: Next Questionnnnnnn
Me: ok ok
Dan: (looks at questions) Oh god, not this one
Ant: What is it?
Using FIVE words, pick a member of MPA and describe him
Ant: This could split the band up
Matt: Completely ruin us
Dan: I pick Matt
Ant: ahhhh no! I was gonna do matt!
Dan: Wanker, Cunt
=laughter=
Dan: uhhh. No amp. Useless, and The Lazyest Fuck I've ever met..
Matt: The Hair didn't come into it once!
=laughter=
Dan: no no no, I'm joking, I'm joking! Afro, Shit on guitar, thong, useless, and one of the nicest blokes I've ever met - there ya go
Matt: But what about wanker... cunt?
Dan: I was messing around ya cunt!
=laughter=
Ant: This is gonna come out like, nuhnuhnuhmumnuhmuh cunt cunt cunt nuh nuhn uh muh mu cunt. Hope you get all this.. Do you think it will work?
Matt: That's the drummer, he likes random women
Ant: They can't detect sarcasm!!! I pick Dan.
Dan: oh god
Ant: And I'd say, Girls hair, uhhhhhh
Matt: Can I add one to this?
Ant: no
Matt: oh go on, Just one
Ant: no!
Matt: I really wanna put in the fascination he has with body hair.
=laughter=
Matt: he sits at band practice like this... and says, I got a well hairy chest! And there are like four hairs.
Dan: Five now
=laughter=
Ant: Girls hair, obsessed with hair, moany ass hole
Matt: He's not as bad as he used to be
Ant: Nah, not as bad as he used to. He's very money orientated, which is very good cos he gets us money. When we're like, nah nah, don't bother, he's like, no! no, we'll get it! He got us one pound fifty from the uni bar once!
Matt: You sure you want this? - Yes I fucking want it!
=laughter=
Dave: good song writer
Ant: He can write catchy tunes - catchy as fuck tunes. He's fucking brilliant at writing tunes... When they come! Which isn't often.
So yeah, good song writer! Dave - you gotta pick either... you gotta pick me! ah ha hoo
Dave: right... slut
Ant: Can you not write this please...
Matt: Write it, write it
Me: I've got to
Dan: you've got to!
Ant: Take it off please! For the sake of our relationship
Me: We can negotiate
Ant: Put weird taste in music as number one
Matt: Slut slut slut
Ant: Ignore that!
Matt: Slut
Me: by the way, your idea of five words is kind of different to mine
Dan: We chose five things, Five points
Ant: ok, five words..
Matt: Slut, Slut, Slut, Slut, Slut
Me: no no, carry on..
Dan: come on Dave, Hurry up!
Dave: Weird Dressing. Odd...
Matt: That's three
Dave: Odd hair, writes songs about hair
Matt: he's got a fascination with hair as well
Dave: And masturbation
Dan:
Matt:
Ant: all these things are well out of order!
Dave: If he hasn't got time to have a shower he stinks all day
Ant: You can't write that!! There's no incriminating stuff coming out about you!!
Dave: Take one of my points out and add snob
Ant: a Snob!!?
=laughter=
Dave: Complete snob
Matt: Dave. ummmm
Dan: Big belly and beer belly
=laughter=
Matt: and Muttly. come on - give us the impression!
Dave: <does his impression>
Matt: He's got a really short temper
Dan: and a mullet
=laughter=
Matt: yeah, he's got a mullet and a big beard. He's a fucking cainer (spelling?)
Dave: Big time
Me: You should give up!!
Dave: Should do
Matt: What do you call cheese thats not yours?
Pie taster guy # 3: Someone elses cheese?
Matt: Natchaw' cheese
Pie taster guy # 3: ahhhh I get it
Ant: it's fucking shit
Pie Taster Guy # 3: I don't get it
=laughter=
Ant: He's too fucked
Matt: He looks like one of them, doesn't he?
=laughter=
Ant: he's going to go back to America and get asked what are the English people like? and he'll go, they're a bunch of fucking cunts
=laughter=
PT guy#3: no way
Matt: and they've got these fucking weird accents
Dan: Next Question
Best song you've recorded / written ?
Matt: I'd say time change
Dan: yeah, I reckon time change is probably the best song we've recorded.
Ant: I like choices and time change
Any plans for extending the members in Morgan's Puff Adder?
Matt: Nah, I think we're happy how we are.
Ant: What was that?
Matt: Extend the line-up?
Ant: I'd like to replace Matt, Dan, and Dave at some point
Matt: Ant wants to go solo
Ant: Me and Dan are gonna make our own...
Dave: Ant and Dan all the way!
Ant: innit. Sometimes we play at band practices and think what's the point in having the other two?
Pie Taster guy (Me?): Hey, whats the funniest joke you all know?
Dave: I've got one that takes half an hour to tell
Matt: Don't bother!!
Pie Taster Guy (Me?): I was thinking of about two minutes.
Matt: you wanna take some back to America with you?
Pie Taster Guy (Me?): Yeah, I want the good ones though
Dave: Do you know who Craig David is?
=laughter=
Pie Taster Guy (Me?): I know who Ronny Cray is
Dave: CRAIG - DAVID
=laughter=
Pie Taster Guy (Me?): no, I don't know.
Dave: ahh, it won't make any sense then
Pie Taster Guy # 2: Wait wait wait, A baby seal walked into a club.. oh ho ho!
That was the joke.
Pie Taster Guy (Me?): Baby Seal walked into a club.. club - bat.
=laughter=
Pie Taster Guy # 2: Seal hunting, that's how they kill them. hit them with a club.
Pie Taster Guy (me?): Big joke!
Dan: Next question
Me: I get it!
Pie Taster Guy (me?): Are you with some sort of paper?
Me: No
Dan: It's all on tape
Pie Taster Guy (me?): Are they being nice?
Me: no, they're being absolutely horrible!
Pie Taster Guy (me?): Are you being serious?
Me: no.
Pie Taster Guy (me?): OK! are you sure? cos I could correct that.
=laughter=
Pie Taster guy # 4: I can't believe it, I left my shorts somewhere and I can't find them anywhere!
Matt: is this them?
Pie Taster Guy # 4: That's part of my outfit
Pie Taster Guy # 2: You know what? My pants are over there too.
Pie Taster Guy (me?): I've never been to England before. And I went to change my money, and they gave me this hand full of coins and all these dollar notes that didn't fit in my wallet. And then there was this pastry for a dollar fifty, and the biggest coin in my wallet had a two on it. So I gave it to this dude and thought I would get like, a fifty cents piece back or something and he looked at me and started laughing. And I had just given him the equivalent of like, two cents!
Pie Taster Guy # 3: I think it's about 3 cents
Pie Taster Guy (Me?): no, it's way more cents!
Pie Taster Guy # 4: four or five cents.
Pie Taster Guy # 3: Oh well
Pie Taster Guy (me?): So that was like the 1st time I ever felt retarded. But then, I've only been here for like, 36 hours so, I'm sure we'll have many more moments.
=laughter=
Pie Taster # 3: that'll teach you
Pie Taster Guy (me?): I know! Exactly, I shouldn't have ordered any food at all. should have just gone hungry.
Pie Taster Guy # 4 (or three?): Should have got pizza with corn on it!
Pie Taster (me?): Pizza with corn on it?
Pie Taster # 2: no, that was tai-fu
Pie Taster # 4: Corn on the butt (I probably miss-heard)
Pie Taster (me?): Corn on the butt was that veggie burger.
=laughter=
Pie Taster Guy (me?): <leaves the corn conversation - looks at question> Have you asked them all?
Me: no, not yet
Pie Taster Guy (me?): So what do you have to do?
Me: Read the questions out from here, make them answer it into the dictaphone, then type it up.
Pie Taster Guy (me?): <has hand over that little bit which picks up all the noises>
Matt: You're covering it up mate
Pie Taster guy (me?): I'm.. oh, I'm sorry!!
=laughter=
Pie Taster Guy (me?): Is this running right now?
Matt: yeah
Pie Taster Guy (me?): Oh My God! She knows exactly what she's doing! And I'm sitting here trying to help!!
=laughter=
Pie Taster guy (me?): I didn't know that she was like, already doing it.
Me: It's ok, don't worry
Pie Taster Guy (me?): That's like, most embarrassing moment number 7!
=laughter=
Dan: come on then, next question.
Best CD/record in your collection?
Ant: In general it's probably sing sing death house by the distillers but at the moment I really like queens of the stone-age.
Pie Taster Guy # 3: FIRE IN THE HOLE!
Matt: I'd say... Hero to Zero by 4ft fingers.
Me: I haven't heard that yet, I'll have to borrow it off you.
Matt: It's brilliant.
Pie Taster guy # 4: There's a voice of reason amongst all the anxiety
Pie Taster Guy # 2: (picks up a 20p piece)
Ant: You can by fuck all with that
Water lady: You can buy lots of stuff with that!
Ant: You might be able to get a lolly pop or something
Pie Taster Guy # 2: I could have bought two packets of tar-tar sauce with this.
And Your Worst cd?
Ant: The greatest hits by public image limited
Dave: My huss cd
Pie Taster Guy # unknown: But they're not here!!
Pie Taster Guy # 3: They're not?
Matt: I've got plently of bad CD's
Ant: I chuck them all out, or give them to my brother.
Dan: Pool by the sex pistols is shit.
Ant: That was about £1 wasn't it?
Matt: I've got a cd called ventrue' by distorted which is incredibly bad, and they're totally un-heard of. (directed at Ant) you'd like them cos they're weird. ummm, what's that band? Got a really really really weird name.
Ant: are you off?
Pie Taster guy # 3: ah, yeah, I think the bus is here
Water Lady: Take some water with you
Pie taster guy # 3: I think we're just gonna... what?
Matt: Alright mate, been really nice meeting you and that
Pie Taster Guy (Me?): Nice to meet you too
Ant: Can you just say the word "Rad" for me please?
Pie Taster Guy (me?): Rad!!
=laughter=
Ant: Can you get us a gig in America?
Matt: Can you get us touring with you?
Pie Taster Guy # 2: I ain't fart
Pie Taster Guy (me?): I ain't fart
Matt: see ya mate
Pie Taster Guy # 2: I ain't fart. Yeah, see ya later
Pie Taster Guy # 3: I don't think I'm leaving yet, I really think I'm just packing my stuff.
=laughter=
Water Lady: Take some water with you
Ant: don't forget to get us a gig in America
Pie Taster Guy (me?): one day!
Ant: Just like, say a good word about us to your mom for old time sake.
=silence=
Pie Taster Guy (me?): (smiles and nods)
=laughter=
Pie Taster Guy (me?): every once in a while I hear something that I don't understand so I just smile and shake my head
=laughter=
Pie Taster Guy (me?): And I just hope that they didn't say something like - do you want me to bang you in the ass?
=laughter=
Pie Taster Guy # 2: Too much
Pie Taster Guy (me?): you're right, lets go
Pie Taster Guy # 2: He doesn't mind... so long as there's some vaseline
=laughter=
Pie Taster Guy (me?): Wrong!
Water Lady: See ya later!
Dan & Matt: See ya
Ant: Good gig!
Dave: Shake ya head, y'know what I'm saying?
=laughter=
And here we reach the end of all our excitement. There were a couple more questions after this one, but they were cut off because I forgot to turn the tape over again.
Visit: www.morganspuffadder.comBuy: May Contain Nuts
Look at: The tattoo on Dave's wrist
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