Names and who does what?
Rob: I'm Rob, I play guitar and ..
Me: sing
Rob: Vocals
Tom: I'm Tom, play guitar and sing
Dave: Dave, I play drums
Dougie: Hey, I'm Dougie and I play bass guitar and backing vocals.
May I have a background on 4ft fingers?
Rob: Well, we all met at school basically - a part from Dougie. We all got together (Me, Dave and Tom) at school and we met Dougie a few years later at pizza hut, Dougie was a waitor there and he was just listening to music and started coming to shows and then..
Tom: and then our old bass guitar player left and we were stuck with Dougie
Dave: Dougie is an idiot
Me: How about Russ?
Rob: Russ... well Dougie left and we got Russ in but it didn't really work because he played with his fingers, didn't have the certain sound, he didn't do a lot of singing either. Just didn't work.
What's your local scene like?
Rob: It's good! Really good.
How long has the current line up been together for?
Tom: without Dougie's big holiday, about two years
Rob: two and a half years?
Dave: no, about three years
Me: GOSH!
Dave: haha
Rob: GOLLY!
What's the weirdest thing that has happened on your tour so far?
Tom: Dave got raped by a horse
Me: Is that because you smell?
Dave: How dare you!
=laughter=
Rob: Dave does stink
Me: I was only saying that because I read it from your web-site! (smells Dave) You don't smell that bad.
Rob: That's because he's had a wash today
Me: oh right
Dave: Repeat that again please (holds dictaphone to my face)
Me: YOU DON'T SMELL THAT BAD!
Tom: yes he does
Rob: Notice she said "That Bad" so there is some bad
=laughter=
Dave: What is actually the weirdest thing that has happened on tour?
Rob: I'll tell you what the weirdest thing is Dave..
Tom: Going through the Bermuda Triangle
=laughter=
Tom: on our way to Watford..
Dave: on the M4
Tom: Then suddenly we ended up on a pirate ship
=laughter=
Rob: Naked! our van broke down and it took the AA only 11 hours to come and get us. So we did some magic mushrooms.
The AA guy went and got us some curry.
Tom: We got curry between two of us which was meant to feed about 6-7 people.
Rob: we went to this little inbred pub in the middle of no-where
Dave: Turning up for a random purpose and spending more time in there than the locals would in their whole fucking life
Me: was this all on your way to a show?
Tom: yeah
Rob: we never made it to Watford, that's the only show we've ever missed because they just couldn't fix our van
Tom: But they said they could - then they couldn't - then they could, so we were waiting about for them to fix it.
What's the high-light of your tour?
Rob: ummmmmm, playing
Me: Playing?
Rob: Yeah, that's about it
Dougie: This man here (singer of mixtwitch) is the high-light of my tour
Dave: Basically hanging about, meeting new people
Tom: It's all been a high-light
Dave: It's all been really good
Rob: Getting pissed in a dressing room and singing
Dave: That was good!
Rob: we had a party in a room smaller than this and we were just singing all night and I ended up crowd surfing and I hit my head on the ceiling. Fucking brilliant
=laughter=
Dave: It was like new years eve
Rob: we partied like it was 1999!
Me: Woah!
Rob: not 98, not 97.. 99! It was great
What do you think you're most well known for?
Tom: Dave's smell
=laughter=
Rob: I don't know actually. What are we most well known for?
Me: I would have thought the "skate-punk"
Tom: Good live shows I think
Rob: Good live punk band
Me: anything good
Dave: hopefully nothing shit
=laughter=
Using 5 words each, pick a member of 4ft fingers to describe
Me: Your manager and bov-the-merch-guy are included
Dave: Let's to Darren (manager)
Rob: unpredictably, grumpily
Tom: Vague
Rob: Bald
Tom: Hard-working
Dave: That's six
Rob: That's five
Me: It doesn't really matter
Rob: we can sort that out
Tom: Bov ~ stoned, stoned, stoned, stoned, stoned
Rob: stoned
=laughter=
Me: that'll do
Rob: Let's do Dougie now he's not here
Dave: Irish
Rob: Irish, Northern Irish
=laughter=
Rob: Fucking idiot
Dave: No common sense
Rob: Just stupid
Dave: Tom ..
Tom: Go on Dave, let it out..
Dave: he can be moody sometimes
Tom: and I'll do yours next
Dave: umm, come on Rob, help me out here!
Rob: I ain't saying shit!!
=laughter=
Tom: go on..
Dave: moody and uhhh
Rob: Stoned
Dave: Moody and stoned. Jumps around a lot
Tom: go on Dave! Let it out...
Dave: I can't explain it!
Me: yes you can! you can do this..
Dave: can't explain it in one word
Tom: Vat' is word?
Rob: how do you say... word?
Dave: Don't - Piss - Him - Off - CosHeGetsMad
=laughter=
Tom: ok, Dave ~ Self-centred, selfish. He has a big nose
Rob: Egotistical
Tom: yep. he's also fairly moody, not a lot. He is ummm, he's a very good drummer - there's a compliment there, don't know if you've noticed. And the last one is ass hole
Dave: come on, we can't leave Rob out
Tom: he's got a chess board on his arm
Me: oh yeah.. Very pretty
Dave: Big
Tom: Big ears and a big heart as well. And... ass hole
=laughter=
What are you hoping to do with yourselves once this tour is over?
Rob: sleep
Dave: Tour again
Tom: tour
Rob: yeah, go on tour again
Dave: Never stop touring
Rob: Yep. well.. it would be nice to get out of the Country
=laughter=
Tom: We've tried getting out several times but immigration just won't let us through.
Dave: They said to Dougie - if he leaves England, then he's now allowed back.
Rob: They don't want him back here
Tom: That's very small writing
Dave: It is, isn't it?
Me: I know
Tom: My eyes are fucked
Me: Maybe you need glasses?
Tom: IRONIC
Rob: he does
Dave: he's just got some
Rob: Tom look's very nice in his glasses, NBA basketball glasses!
Me: wow
Tom: I hate them
Dave: yeah, come on then. next question
Me: moody
Rob: he is, isn't he?
Dave: nah! I was just reading it thinking... listen to this.. go on:
There are "shit loads" of people stalking you.. where to look?
=laughter=
Dave: stalking us?
Rob: Pizza hut
Dave: What..? as in.. as a band?
Tom: we don't really experience it that much
Rob: Don't really hear about it. I get loads of kids knocking at my door at home, which really bugs me cos I live with my mom and dad because I can't afford to move out yet and it can get really frustrating. You want to cut off every now and again when you've got herds of kids coming to your front door.
Me: But how do they all know where you live?
Rob: Because I have a 23 ft van in my drive which is ours.
Me: ah yes! Camouflage it
Rob: yeah, I was thinking of putting a big net over it
Tom: Colour it in with disappearing ink
=laughter=
=Dougie Arrives=
Rob: would you like to take a perch?
Dougie: I'd love to actually, yeah.
Rob: ok, carry on
What's the most embarrassing thing you've done on stage?
Rob: Dougie fell over! "Ladies and gentlemen - mr Kyle Douglas!!" shoomp.
=laughter=
Dougie: That was fucking awful. In uhh.. Coventry?
Rob: yeah.
Dougie: we were playing the song called "hit me" - an old song we don't play anymore and he goes "Introducing mr Kyle Douglas - Dougie on bass guitar!" and I just went du-du-du-du-du-du-du
=laughter=
Dave: mind you.. playing doubt it..
Rob: oh, that was pretty bad!
Dave: doing in for four bars
Someone else: Pick another one
Dave: we played doubt it for about 4 bars. Doubt it, a song from "hows my driving"
=laughter coming from otherside of the room=
Dave: we played doubt it from "hows my driving", right?
Me: I'm sorry.. I wasn't listening
=laughter=
Rob: haha, have you noticed that after a while daves voice goes.. mwaw naw naw mwaw naw mwaw mwaw naw naw mwaw
Tom: naw-mwaw-mwaw-naw
Dougie: Mwaw naw mwaw mwaw mwaw mwaw-mwaw-mwaw
=laughter=
Me: I am sorry!
Dave: ok.. we played doubt it and we played four bars and then for some reason it finished... that was pretty embarrassing.
Dougie: we didn't know what the hell had happened
Rob: We all just naturally went for the finish!
Dougie: we all stopped
Rob: It's really weird, we didn't even do the whole song, went on for about four bars and then ended.
Me: that's actually quite clever
Rob: we were like.. What The Fuck!?
=laughter=
Rob: I feel very small.. (has Dougie on his lap) do I look small?
Mixtwitch or Gash girl: Yes, you do
Tom: I did a jump and got my belt stuck to my guitar and looked like a complete spastic.That was about a week ago.
Dougie: Tom did a stage dive one time aswell and there was a fucking huge crowd and all of a sudden, they all just parted when Tom dived.
=laughter=
Rob: And I ran up to the mic thinking I'm the man to go and sing the next song and I just went "whack" - I ran into the mic, so hard that I cracked my own teeth. not the crowd - but I did it.
Dave: and your stage invasion.. when you got knocked over
Rob: oh yeah! I got knocked over when about a hundred kids got up on stage. That wasn't very embarrassing, I just had no where to go except on to the floor.
=laughter=
Dave: Where have we got to?
Me: I don't actually know.. .. I'm here
Dougie: Excellent
What makes the new album "hero to zero" better/worse than your last "at your convenience"?
Rob: I think when ... well, we had Russ - then he left, and as soon as Dougie came back it just started flowing.
Dougie: and plus it's really difficult because I write all the songs, you know? so when the song writer leaves..
Rob: he doesn't really, I write them
Dougie: I write ALL the songs
Me: (directed at Dougie) they're brilliant!
Dougie: Thank you very much!!
=laughter=
Rob: you fucking liar..
Dougie: we're very close
Rob: I'm quite comfortable like this actually
Dougie: Yeah, I'm quite comfortable aswell. Although, yeah - I'm feeling some strange movements
=laughter=
Dave: Yeah great - next question
Rob: OAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
=laughter=
Favourite song you've recorded so far?
Rob: Emergancy manoeuvre
Dave: I still kind of like brick wall
Dougie: I get bored of brick wall
Rob: Yeah, I really like brickwall, means a lot to me.
Dougie: Oh for fuck sake Dave!
Me: What have you done?
Tom: Here comes the smell...
Dougie: You're so predictable! Dave just farted
=laughter=
Rob: Hello Stinky!
Dougie: We keep him at the back though, he doesn't tend to upset that many people.
Have you got any plans for extending the members in 4ft fingers?
Dave: well yeah, I'm having my penis enlarged
=laughter=
Me: that was incredibly witty!
Rob: ahhhh, it wasn't that funny was it?
Dougie: I thought it was hilarious
Rob: I think we're happy how we are. We might get some siamese twins as a gimmick
Dave: I haven't told the others yet, but I want a saxophone, trombone and a trumpet so we can do ska.
Me: Me! I play saxophone!
Dave: Do you?
Me: I do
Rob: no, we don't want to be known as a ska/punk band. That really annoys us. We're not ska - we're not any good at it, and that's why we just stick to Punk Rock
Dougie: Hopeless romantic wasn't bad. I liked that.
Rob: yeah, that's alright, but any others are just like..
Dougie: it's better with brass
Tom: we wrote it, and we loved it and we still love it - cos we wrote it. And, uhh.. yeah.
Dougie: What he said
Dave: No we're not
=laughter=
Rob: Put for the whole interview - yes / no..
Me: Maybe
Dougie: What the....? Have you ever caught a pigeon..?
Dave: no! Let her ask the questions
Me: oi! That's the last one.
Dougie: I do apologise. But, uhh..
Rob: Who do you think you are?
Dougie: I'm thinking I'm the song writer
=laughter=
Dougie: I write all the songs - have I mentioned that yet?
=laughter=
Worst Cd in your collection?
Dougie: The worst...
Rob: pretty much every cd in Dave's collection is shit
Dave: no no no. Worst cd in my collection is.. I'll get back to you
Rob: I think in my one it would have to be..
Tom: Jesse James
Rob: yeah, jessejames - MTV un-plugged
Dougie: I Dunno, I've got a lot of crap cd's from when I was a kid
Me: Come on.. there must be one you can pick out
Rob: haha. YOU HAD E17!!
Dougie: I don't know what you're talking about!! no
=laughter=
Rob: I got some whale noises, they suck.
Me: I got them aswell!!
Rob: yeah! But they're not good ones.. I wanted the good ones. They must have just been recording at the side of a whaling boat. they're like Weiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiih!
=laughter=
Rob: and when we 1st met dougie he used to tuck his shirt into his trousers and he wore cream trousers with black shoes. He looked like an absolute gay lord!
=laughter=
Tom: we managed to get him to un-tuck his shirt
Dougie: yep, But I still wear the cream trousers!
Rob: He just cut them down - and look what's happened!
Dougie: look, here's my scar from Aberdeen
Rob: that's a herpes wound
=laughter=
What goes on while you're travelling from town to town?
Dougie: What.. in the van?
Me: yes
Dave: Tom sleeps or drives
Rob: I sleep or drive
Dave: me and him slag Rob and Tom off
Me: (directed to Dougie) You write the songs
Dougie: yeah
Rob: They all sit in the back without a care in the fucking world and me and Tom have to sort everything out.
Tom: There you go
Rob: Next quetion =laughs=
Tom: Full stop.
Rob: Try to get dave's clothes off
Dougie: Dave changes a lot in the van
Rob: yeah
Dougie: He wears Y fronts
Rob: yeah
Dave: I don't wear Y fronts
Rob: You got Y fronts on now!
=laughter=
Rob: What are they?
Dougie: What the fuck is that?
Rob: AHHHHHHAHA! You got pants on!
Dougie: See what we mean? He's an embarrassment
Rob: Men don't wear pants! Ahhaha they're simpsons pants
Dave: Women love it
=laughter=
Dougie: It's a g-string at the back aswell
Dave: it's alright, it all comes off in a matter of hours anyway!
Dougie: d'you reckon?
Rob: yeah, cos the stench melts the elastic
Tom: But what you don't know is that it's really a thong.
=laughter=
Dave: no... look
Me: I believe you, ok?
=laughter=
Rob: see dave? not everyone thinks you're "irresistible"
Me: nahh. Deep down Dave, you're the most attractive man I've ever met
=laughter=
Dave: Thank you. It's what's on the inside that counts
Me: It is
=laughter=
Rob: well you're not gonna find anything there cos what you see with Dave is what you get.
Me: And what you smell with dave..
=laughter=
Rob: Hey Dave? You know what? Your whole family is gonna get wiped out in the nuclear holocaust
Me: awww
Where do you see yourselves in five years time?
Dave: Roadies in a tour bus
Tom: Selling roses on the M25
Rob: in a bus with a big crew, loads of women
Me: and beer
Rob: and everything
Dougie: NOFX's tour support
Dave: Whitmore's tour support =laughs=
Tom: Somewhere big
Dougie: very very big - but not too big
Dave: on a higher level
Me: Here comes your very last question..
Have you ever caught a pigeon?
Rob: I haven't.. but my dad used to feed them with bread and bicarbonate soda on sunday's and watch them explode.
Dougie: I killed a blackbird once
Rob: Dougie was in the army
Dave: a poor old blackbird landed on his target
Dougie: I was in the rifle range and this black bird..
=Guy from mixtwitch trys getting past - rob has dougie on his lap - trys shuffling backwards - stall snaps in half - both fall to the floor=
=laughter=
=cheers=
Rob: AW YEAH! we are so rock n roll! =holds up the broken stall= That's fucking brilliant! we're taking this home with us.
Dougie: I can't believe that Rob
=laughter=
Rob: This happens all the time
Dave: I have - I've caught a pigeon! It had a broken wing, so we fixed it.
Rob: Little liar. your family couldn't afford to eat so they had pigeon pie
Dave: we also caught a crow and a fucking sea gull.
Dougie: And I shot a blackbird - it exploded on the rifle range
Dave: Thank You!
Me: Thank You!
Dave: Thank You!
Visit: www.4ftfingers.co.ukBuy: From hero to zero
Look at: Chess board on Rob's arms
p-s: I did apologise to Dave afterwards about insulting his personal smells. and yes - he does wear simpsons pants! Dougie figured out what the meaning behind the pigeon question was soon after.
The End 
