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Maff: why are you asking cheska the questions?
Dan: I was asking you!
Me: what?
Maff: You're asking them, we gotta do this properly. =laughs= look, Dan's rabbit hands! (Picture I had drawn)
Ant: =laughs= What kind of question is "Do you know that Ant wants to be in One Day Elliott?"
=laughter=
Dan: What?
Me: He wants to quit your band and thats no joke. He told me on Friday
Ant: But how pissed was I on Friday?
Me: uhhh, good point
Ant: Thank you very much
Maff: cool, do you have vampire teeth?
Me: only there...
Maff: =laughs= I wasn't expecting them to be anywhere else. You can bite people with them.
Me: Leave me alone
Maff: I've made you feel really self conscious now haven't I?
Me: Yes
Maff: It's not as if I said you got really pointy ears or something though is it?
=laughter=
Me: I got a picture of you on the back here
Ant: Whats that?
Me: nothing..
Ant: no, lets see
Me: Don't flatter yourself though. I don't like you that much
Maff: aww, poor little Ant
Me: Sorry Ant... What's going o...
Ant: =laughs= Don't touch me.. =laughs= blank blank blank
=laughter=
Maff: Thats disgusting
Ant: Don't write that
=laughter=
Ant: no no, like last time! Every fucking thing it was "Don't write that" -- "Don't write that!"
Dave: Right.. whats going on in the life of the Puff Adder then?
Me: But don't babble on too much cos' I don't actually care...
Dan: Hold on, whats the question?
Maff: She doesn't care
Dave: Whats going on in the life of MPA
Dan: Who the hell are no order records?
=faffle=
What is going on in the life of Morgans Puff adder at the moment?
Dave: Lots of gigs
=laughter=
Dave: good - stuff
Dan: we're gonna gig and record a new ep in a couple of weeks
Dave: thats a Couple Of Weeks!
Ant: The name of the Ep is... Yet to be confirmed
=laughter=
Ant: Its going to be called "Whos to blame?"
Maff: No its not
Ant: Yeah it is
Maff: Its not going to be called "whos to blame" man, thats bollocks!
Ant: Shut up Mafro
On a scale of 1 10, how much do you like each other PERSONALLY?
=laughter=
Ant: I dont fucking like them at all.
Dan: Im very fond of Mafro
Maff: But Im a Jewish faced cunt
=laughter=
Dave: well we see each other 4/5 times a week
Ant: Yeah, and we dont fall out really
Maff: =laughs= a part from when we played up in uhhh
Ant: Farnborough
Maff: yeah, Farnborough
Ant: Yeah, me and Dave had a rawkus on stage almost
Maff: and the cancer
Ant: Yeah! Dave said he wanted me to die of cancer!
=laughter=
Me: But I said something similar to you as well
Ant: Why would you say that?
Me: no.. its just the way, the whole smoking thing no! I didnt say it to you, did I?
Ant: You better not have said I hope you die of cancer! Other wise I'd have a rawkus.
Dan: =burps= That's my burp!!
At the age of fourteen, what did you want to be when you were older?
Maff: Fifteen
=laughter=
Me: Thats actually very funny
Dave: Well I...
Ant: No! Dont answer it, thats the best! =laughs=
Dan: I wanted to live in a house made of cake
Me: Live in my house!
Ant: and... I'm Ant and uhh, I just got in a band when I was fourteen and started playing drums so... I wanted to be a rock star
Maff: Dan's never been fourteen. =laughs= He's always been about 40
Dan: It's true, It's true though. I can't argue
Ant: Yeah, I think we all wanted to be rockstars. I mean, I didn't really dream to be a =pause= construction cunt
=laughter=
Maff: And I didn't wanna be a scientist but it seems to be going that way =laughs=
Ant: But Dave however, did want to be a furniture sales man
=laughter=
Ant: Well done Dave!
Me: Congratulations
Dave: I wanted to be a fish
=laughter=
Maff: Glooap glooap glooap =laughs= Let me be a fish!
Dan: C'mon then, next question
Dave: I like simple things
Ant: Dan was like this last time
Maff: I know!
Me: I remember this
Dan: I only said it once today
Dave: Move away from the book so she can ask us the questions
Dan: I just farted by the way
Me: you ******g ***t (Im used to be polite before I first did an interview with these rebels!)
=laughter and 'ooos'=
Maff: oh yes!
Ant: That is rude girl
Me: Shouldn't have said that
Dan: I only farted
Me: But it's gonna stink
Maff: Call him a Jewish faced cunt
Me: Don't film me!!!
=laughter=
Why do you think your bands better than everyone elses?
Ant: we don't think we're better than everyone else but we think we're better than the toss thats on at the moment.
Me: Yeah, but why?
Dan: nah, not better than everyone else
Ant: Well... We're tight
Dave: Aw bands aw equaw!!
Shaaaaawn: Hi
Maff: Ello
Dave: ba'aw of the bands is a bad idea!!
Maff: He just provided the answer. He just said "You're really cool" to me. So, all you need is a cool curly haired goon in the band and then we're better than everyone else!
Ant: We are pretty good
Maff: If you haven't heard our music, we're tight. And I always feel pretty tight as well.
Dan: shut up Matt
Ant: oww Mafro! Maff-row
Dan: You didn't hear that did you?
Me: no
Maff: I'll post another poo on your guestbook if you're not careful!
Me: That was so horrible!
Ant: You can only be, you can only be as good as your drummer and our drummer is pretty good so...
Me: Yeah! The drummer is actually pretty cool
Ant: Out of the four in our band, the drummer is the most talented, without a doubt!
Me: Oh yeah!!
Maff: Id agree with that =laughs=
Ant: Dan's being a heart breaker; he broke a girls heart the other day.
Dave: yeah
Maff: Dan broke a girls heart
Ant: He kissed her and then...
Dave: I wouldn't talk about it too much, it's getting written down.
Me: Thats harsh Dan
Ant: oh shit! Yeah. =laughs= Like last time, "Yeah, if I go out, I shag a girl. - Oh, dont write that, my girlfriend will get annoyed"
=laughter=
Me: oh yeahhh. That was you!! Hypocrite
Maff: That was you!!!
Dan: yeah, you were the only one who had a girlfriend
Ant: Stop taping I dont give permission
Maff: What was the question?
Ant: we're not better than everyone else
Whos the bestest person in the whole of Tunbridge Wells?
Maff: Gotta be Franceska really
Ant: Yeah Franceska. She's... yeah
Dan: Cos she lives in a house made of cake in a wood
Ant: Yeah she does actually! She does.
Maff: She feeds the pigeons. Thats how she catches them.
Me: Never caught one like that
Dave: I ran one over the other day
Me: oh yeah and you tried to kick one with your crutches =gasps= where's your leg?
=laughter=
Maff: Its on my bottom actually
=laughter=
Ant: Where's your leg? How stupid can you be?
Dave: Where's your leg...
Me: It's meant to be broken
Maff: Sprained actually
Ant: =laughing= Where's your leg? and a picture of Mafro with no legs!
=laughter=
Me: Shut up
Ant: Going "My names Mafro, wheres my leg?" - "I got no legs, no legs, no legs until I'm dead" =laughs=
Dan: No legs - You got no legs!
YAY or NAY to Fox Hunting?
Maff and Ant: THIS SONG... IS ABOUT... FOX HUNTING!
=laughter=
Maff: This song's about WAR
Everyone: WAR! FOX HUNTING!
Maff: And it goes like this
Ant: War War - fox hunting, War War - Fox hunting. WE - DON'T - LIKE IT! WAR - Fox hunting. WAR - Fox hunting
=laughter=
Ant: Private joke
Maff: I agree with pest control. But I don't agree with dogs ripping foxes apart
Ant: Maff's got pest control cream all round his ass
=laughter=
Ant: If I saw a fox I'd probably shoot it right now.
Dan: And if I was driving a car and I saw a fox I'd run it over.
Ant: Good job you don't drive boy.
Me: You cant drive, you're 17
Dan: Im not 17, I'm 18
Me: Since when?
Ant: say 1 - 0! Say 1 - 0
Me: 1 - 0!
Ant: Yeaaaah, she got you good boy!
Dan: oh yes, you got me.
Ant: This is a game and it originated from when I was at school and no cunt gets it
Dave: Just Anthonys gay little game
Ever killed any animals?
Ant: I have, yeah, I used to shoot...
Maff: Shoot what?
Ant: I shot a pigeon the other day actually
Maff: A pigeon, oi oi
Me: uhhh..
Maff: Why did you want to do this interview again when you know how bad we are?
Me: Well Ant was the one who asked, he didnt really ask, but he suggested the idea. So blame Ant
Ant: Blame me boys.
Maff: nah, Im not bothered. Its just you get so much abuse from us, I wondered why you wanted to go through it again
Me: Bec..
Dan: Because she loves it
Ant: She loves us
Me: Hell yeah
Ant: Aight, shall we interview her?
Maff: I think we should afterwards, yeah
Dan: yeah
Maff: We should have an interviews page and interview uerhgue
Ant: ueghieublablagh out, out of the four of the band, which one would
Maff: no, we'll do it afterwards man
Me: Are you seriously going to do it?
Ant: yeah
Me: Do you want your own tape to do it?
Ant: yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Maff: no cos I got..
Ant: no no no no no
Me: Am I allowed to bring Dave out? Cos I feel guilty leaving him all on his own
Ant: no you're not
Maff: do you wanna finish us off and then we'll interview you and him
Ant: finish us off
Maff: Do you wanna finish me off love? =laughs=
Ant: Do you wanna finish me off love?
=laughter=
Who's the least favourite band you've played with? PERSONALLY! I dont want any of your music-wise crap.
Maff: Six stage suicide
Me: Whos, Whos, Whos ugly?
Dan: =blank=!
=laughter=
Maff: Blargh Blargh Blargh
Dan: ah, I dunno, Who d'you reckon Ant?
Ant: I reckon we should all have one
Dave: Llama Slammer
Ant: yep
Dan: yeah, llama slammer
Ant: They were nice people
Maff: Queer Fish
Me: Queer fish do suck, I'll happily admit that
Maff: And they were fucking wankers as well
Me: aaaw. Dave, say something! Say your name
Dave: I do not have an opinion on this issue
=laughter=
Ant: at this time
Dave: At this time in my life, I refuse to comment
Dan: C'mon then, what was that other question you were going on about?
Can any of you roll your rrs or touch your nose with your toung?
Ant: no, but Mafro farts a lot
Maff: Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Dan: I can do this
Me: Dont do that! Its so gross
Dan: I can do this, look l,l,l,look!
Maff: I can stick an apple in my foreskin
=laughter=
Dave: Thats a trick we all wanna see mafro!
Dan: I can do this aswell
Ant: I can do a piggy noise
Me: go on then
Ant: =does it=
Me: C'mon Dave, whats your talent?
Dave: uhhhh
Maff: Dave can do Muttly laugh. And I can ride a unicycle
Dave: uhhhhh
Me: Do you know how much I cried when you got rid of your mullet?
Ant: EEEEIIIGH!
=laughter=
Ant: I resented the angry whale
Maff: I'll tell you what Dave's good at.. smoking copious amounts of pot
Ant: =laughs= and then still being ok!
Maff: or not being stoned
Ant: I try to join him and just end up being wasted
Dan: I just get wasted and almost die
Ant: Legalise cannabis
Maff: Just for Dave
Dan: oh, there's a tree there!
Me: Its a volcano!!!
Dan: oop
Me: And what's that?
Dan: It's a sun
Me: And what's that?
Dan: It's a sea gull
Me: It's a pigeon
Dan: oh
Ant: A pigeon
Me: Do you want to join in as well?
Alex: no
Ant: nah, hes just our gimp
Alex: shut up
Me: awww, what happened to Dan?
Maff: Ben
Me: was his name Ben?
Ant: or Dan, Dan Chase
Maff: oh yeah, Dan Chase was up here for that bit
Ant: Helmet! Helmet!
Maff: "Do you wanna see my willy piercing? I got two now"
Dan: Right, c'mon then
Maff: Sorry
Whos the most easily confused here? No, Who drinks the most beer?
Maff: Getting pissed. It's either me or Ant. We dont drink much in general, but when we're going out its either me or Ant.
Me: Alright. Think of a number between one and ten
Ant: Seven
Maff: Three
Me: uhh yeah, but don't tell me dumb-ass =laughs=
Maff: oaaaa, you didnt say that though, did you?
Ant: She said think, not say
Me: Think of another
Ant: seven
Me: And another
Ant: ok..
Me: now add five
Maff: ok
Me: now add two
Maff: k
Me: Take two
Maff: yep
Me: Take away the number you first thought of
Maff: Now we're back to the number we first started with
Ant: No we're not!
Maff: I am
Ant: I'm not =laughs=
Me: Think of a number between one and ten
Maff: Yep
Ant: yeah
Me: Add two
Ant: yeah
Me: Add three
Ant: Yeah
Me: Add one
Ant: Yeah
Me: Take two
Ant: Yeah
Me: Add one. Take away the number you first thought of
Ant: Yeah
Me: Times two
Ant: Yeah
Me: Times two
Ant: Yeah
Me: Divide by four
Ant: Yeah
Me: Add three
Ant: Yeah
Me: Equals eight
Maff: no
=laughter=
Maff: Either that or my maths is really shit
Me: Your maths is shit!!
Ant: I got an F in maths - I'm the best
Maff: I got thirteen and I started with five =laughs=
Me: owwwwww, didnt work
=laughter=
Maff: Shes devastated
Dan: Its that horny girl
Ant: Id.. leave her actually
Maff: Shwing Shwing
Dave: Just leave her
Ant: Id leave her Fran
What do you think of the other bands that played tonight?
Dave: Marrows are good
Dan: Flying marrows are very good
Me: Morgans puff adder were a bit crap
Maff: Yeah, Morgans Puff Adder suck
Me: Yeah
Ant: They try hard, but theyre just not very good
Me: Their hearts in the right place and that
Ant: oh, definitely!
Me: Its all for charity - Please dont cut your hair off Maff!!!!
Ant: Its gonna cost you 200 quid init matt
Maff: Its gonna cost me a minimum of two hundred pounds
Me: But seriously, if you cut it off...
Dave: Its for charity!
Me: I wrote you that letter!!!
Maff: I know!
Ant: The charity to buy mafro some new trousers
Dave: Its for the kids aint it Mafro?
Ant: Im gonna do it with a blunt raizor
Dave: Do it for the community! Work!
If you all hate Shittingbourne so much, why do you still live there?
Ant: Shittingbourne
Dan: Can't afford it
Maff: And the house prices here are incredibly expensive at the moment
Ant: And Mafro's the only one who would know that as Mafro's the only one that can afford a house! I'm moving to Puru
Me: Can I come?
Ant: No
Dan: Poo?
Ant: Puru
Me: Can you send me a post card?
Ant: yeah yeah yeah yeah
Maff: Shwing Shwing
Ant: And then Im going to decide that its infested with too many silly cunts and come back
Me: Right
Ant: So its more like a holiday really
Maff: =laughs= holiday
Ant: Yeah, all the fucking shanty towns in there
Maff: Im gonna move to Brighton one day
Dave: I wanna move to Brighton
Ant: Shall we all move to Brighton?
Maff: Its really cool. Cos there's loads of puffs down there which means theres loads of single girls
=laughter=
Ant: good one
Dave: No, it means there's a higher population of puffs
Dan: yeah, thats true Dave
Ant: You'll be worming your butt down there then Dave! =pause= None of us are gay by the way!
Me: Sure?
Ant: Yes
Dan: Maffs tested us all out
Plans for the near future?
Dan: uhhhhh
Dave: Lots of gigs
Dan: yeah
Dave: New EP
Ant: New EP
Me: Near future...
Ant: And more gigs I suppose
Maff: Near future... To remove the pins and needles in my feet
Ant: Im gonna go and get a KFC soon
Dave: For fun, we do it for fun
Dan: Im doing it for the kids!!
Me: He's doing it for the charity
Ant: Im doing it for the kids. They really like me - kids
Maff: Im hoping to convince people into not giving me money to shave my head
Dan: =laughs= You're gonna pay people not to
Maff: I need a page out that book
Me: Why?
Maff: Cos we're gonna interview you
Ant: And a pen
Me: Don't do that. Ill get nightmares
Dan: Nah, you live in a house made of cake. You cant get nightmares in a house made of cake
Maff: What type of cake is it?
Me: ummm
Dan: Its got marzipan as the lawn
Ant: I like marzipan, its nice
Maff: Marzipan is minging
Dan: Marzipans lovely
Me: Dont you dare use that word in my presence!
Maff: What minging?
Dan: Minging
Ant: Minging
Dave: Minging
Me: Chavy!
Someone: Laaaaaaaaaaaa da la da da laaaaaaaaaaaaaa oooooo
Me: Here's my pen and uhh, there's my book
Maff: Shall we start writing?
Me: And I'm going to come back and if you've done anything bad to my book at all, I wont be happy
Ant: great, how long are you gonna be? Aye? Aye?
Me: I'm only going in here to get Dave
Ant: Dave
Dave: Alright Dave
Maff: Dave
Dan: =burps= alright Dave, hows it going?
Ant: Can I have some cash to go to KFC?
Someone: oooooooooo-oo ooooooooo-oo
Look At: Maff's hair
Buy: New Ep - "Who's to blame?" (shit name)
Visit: www.morganspuffadder.com
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